Walking with Grief: Insights from Saint Therese Pastoral Care Directors

Barb Hemberger • August 29, 2025

“There is no timetable for grief; it unfolds in its own way, in its own time.” – Unknown


On August 30, we pause to honor Grief Awareness Day—a reminder that grief is both universal and deeply personal. At Saint Therese senior living communities, grief is not an abstract idea. It is woven into the daily lives of residents, families, and caregivers alike.


To better understand this journey, we spoke with five of our pastoral care directors, who accompany people through life’s most difficult transitions. At Saint Therese, we are proud to have full-time pastoral care directors in our communities, ensuring that compassionate spiritual support is always present. Their reflections remind us that grief is not something to “get over,” but something to live with, honor, and grow through.


Grief in Daily Life at Saint Therese


Each director shared that grief extends beyond the moment of death. It includes the loss of independence, the decline of health, the move into senior living, or even the passing of a fellow resident or staff member.


  • Duane Bauer of Saint Therese of Woodbury emphasized the importance of normalizing grief. “What would it be like if you didn’t grieve your spouse? We grieve because we were in relationship. A new normal has to come out of it.” His role, he says, is to listen more than talk, to walk alongside without judgment, and to create sacred moments of farewell such as “sacred sending” rituals for families and staff.


  • John Ilkka at Saint Therese of Oxbow Lake speaks about grief as a deeply personal and non-linear process. He emphasizes that there are no “magic words” to take away someone’s pain. Instead, his role is to listen, provide space, and reassure people that whatever they are feeling is valid. “The simplest thing is, whatever you’re feeling is ok. Grieving takes time, and it’s hard work,” he shared. For John, honoring grief means letting people lead the way—sometimes needing presence, sometimes needing space—and always being authentic.


  • Beth O’Hare-Fisher at Saint Therese – IHM Senior Living often encounters grief during visits, when new residents open up about the loss of a spouse or sibling. She organizes Circles of Sharing, where residents gather to name and remember those who have died. For her, the key is acknowledging loss and affirming feelings without rushing the process.


  • Mollie Dvorak of Saint Therese of Corcoran speaks passionately about anticipatory grief—the mourning that begins even before a loved one passes. She uses books like Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss, and The Invisible String to help residents and staff process emotions. For her, grief is not something to fix, but something to witness with compassion.


  • Mary Lou Swinerton of Saint Therese St. Mary of the Woods adds that grief is a life event that encompasses the whole community. “It requires that we recognize that our Saint Therese community is bigger than our specific place. The entire community—residents, families, and staff—grieve. We must recognize this collective grief, name it, and honor it. It may be a sudden death of a resident’s son across the country, a memorial service for a resident’s loss, or even the bittersweet moment when someone leaves the community to be closer to family. Journeying with residents and staff in grieving means understanding that grief is not a one-size-fits-all event.”


Together, these directors show us that grief is not just about endings—it is also about presence, memory, and care.


Gentle Practices for Navigating Grief


From these conversations, five guiding practices emerge:

1.       Give Yourself Permission

Grief doesn’t follow a timetable. It can show up as sadness, anger, relief, or even laughter. Whatever you’re feeling is valid.


2.       Tell Your Story

Sharing memories of a loved one keeps their presence alive. Whether in a support group, a circle of remembrance, or over coffee with a friend, storytelling helps heal.


3.       Lean into Community

As Duane noted, grief is less overwhelming when shared. Find a faith group, a grief support circle, or simply a trusted listener.


4.       Practice Self-Care

Grief can exhaust body, mind, and spirit. Be gentle with yourself. Rest, eat well, pray or meditate, and allow space for your own healing.


5.       Embrace the “New Normal”

Life after loss will not be the same—but in time, it can hold meaning again. The journey is not about “moving on,” but about moving forward.


A Shared Journey


At Saint Therese, grief is not something to be avoided. It is something to be honored—with listening ears, compassionate presence, and rituals of remembrance. As our pastoral care directors remind us, grief is a sign of love, and love always has the final word.

Shown above (left to right, top row): Duane Bauer, John Ilkka, Beth O'Hara-Fisher, Mollie Dvorak and Mary Lou Swinerton.

Stay Connected


Search All Posts


About

At Saint Therese, our heartfelt purpose since 1968 has been a people first approach to living well by providing senior care and services where every life we touch feels welcomed, respected, and heard. We achieve this by doing ordinary things with extraordinary love every single day. Contact us to learn more. 

Modern multi-story apartment building with a dark gray exterior, balconies, and a paved entrance area.
By Barb Hemberger June 23, 2026
It is important to understand the assisted living vs memory care debate. Assisted living supports older adults who need help with daily activities , while memory care provides specialized care for individuals living with Alzheimer's disease, dementia, or other cognitive conditions. Memory care includes additional safety measures, structured routines, and staff training designed specifically for the unique challenges associated with memory loss. For many families, understanding the difference becomes an important part of making an informed decision. While both assisted living and memory care provide support in a community setting, they serve different needs and are designed for different stages of aging. If you are trying to determine which option may be the best fit, it is helpful to understand these better. You must know how each level of care works, who it is designed for, and what signs may indicate it is time to consider additional support. What is Assisted Living and Memory Care? Assisted living and memory care are both senior living options that provide support with daily life, but they differ in the type and intensity of care they offer. Assisted living is designed for older adults who remain largely independent but need help with certain activities. These can include medication management, dressing, bathing, mobility, or household tasks. Memory care is specifically designed for individuals experiencing cognitive decline due to Alzheimer's disease, dementia, or other memory-related conditions. The primary difference is that memory care includes specialized programs and secure environments. The care approaches are tailored to the unique needs of individuals living with memory loss. Assisted Living vs Memory Care: A Side-by-Side Comparison To understand the differences better, let us look at a side-by-side comparison of the two levels of care.
By Barb Hemberger June 23, 2026
Choosing the right senior living community is rarely just about finding a place to live. For many older adults and their families, it is about finding a community that supports independence, encourages meaningful connections, and provides confidence for the future. If you are exploring senior living Westlake Ohio options, Saint Therese of Westlake offers a distinctive approach. It combines independent living with access to a full continuum of care on one beautiful campus. Located in Westlake, Ohio, this welcoming community allows older adults to enjoy an active lifestyle while knowing additional support is available if needs change over time. Whether you are planning ahead for yourself or helping a loved one evaluate senior living choices, understanding what makes Saint Therese unique can help you make a more informed decision. What is Senior Living in Westlake, Ohio? Senior living in Westlake, Ohio refers to housing and lifestyle options designed specifically for older adults. These communities typically offer varying levels of support, ranging from fully independent living to assisted living, rehabilitation services, and long-term care. The best senior living communities allow residents to maintain their independence. Meanwhile it also provides access to services, amenities, and healthcare resources that can simplify daily life and enhance overall well-being. At Saint Therese of Westlake, residents have access to multiple levels of care on one campus. This makes it easier to age in place while remaining part of a familiar community. Why Westlake is an Attractive Place for Senior Living? Westlake has become one of Northeast Ohio's most desirable communities for older adults. Located in Lorain County, the city offers a blend of suburban comfort, convenient healthcare access, shopping, dining, and recreational opportunities. Residents at Saint Therese of Westlake enjoy proximity to many local destinations, including: Westlake shopping district Crocker Park in nearby Westlake Miller Nature Preserve French Creek Reservation Lake Erie waterfront attractions Local restaurants, coffee shops, and community events Major healthcare providers throughout Lorain and Cuyahoga counties The community also provides convenient access to Interstate 90. Hence, making it easy for family members and visitors traveling from Cleveland, Elyria, North Ridgeville, Westlake, and surrounding communities. For many older adults, remaining connected to familiar neighborhoods, family, and local activities is an important part of maintaining quality of life. Westlake offers that balance of convenience and community. Independent Living at Saint Therese of Westlake Independent living is currently the primary opportunity available at Saint Therese of Westlake. It is an excellent choice for active older adults seeking a maintenance-free lifestyle without sacrificing independence. The goal of independent living is simple: give residents more time to enjoy life by reducing the responsibilities associated with homeownership. Instead of worrying about yard work, snow removal, home maintenance, or unexpected repairs, residents can focus on the activities, relationships, and experiences that matter most to them. A Lifestyle Designed Around Independence Many people assume senior living means giving something up. In reality, independent living often creates opportunities for greater freedom. Residents can spend their days pursuing hobbies. They can participate in community activities, enjoying social events, or simply relaxing without the responsibilities of maintaining a house. At Saint Therese of Westlake, independent living supports a lifestyle centered on choice. Residents maintain their privacy and autonomy while benefiting from the convenience of community living. Opportunities for Connection and Community One of the most common challenges older adults face is social isolation. Research from the National Institute on Aging shows that staying socially engaged can support both emotional and physical well-being. Independent living creates natural opportunities for connection through shared dining experiences, wellness programs , recreational activities, educational events, and community gatherings. Many residents discover that moving to a senior living community expands their social circles and helps them remain actively engaged in daily life. Peace of Mind for Families Families often describe a sense of relief when a loved one moves into a community that offers both independence and future support options. Knowing that assistance is available if circumstances change can help reduce uncertainty and make long-term planning easier. For many families, this peace of mind becomes one of the most valuable benefits of choosing a continuing care community. Assisted Living Westlake Ohio: Understanding the Next Level of Support Many families searching for assisted living Westlake Ohio are actually trying to understand what level of care a loved one may need now or in the future. Assisted living is designed for individuals who remain active and engaged but may benefit from support with certain daily activities. These can include medication management, dressing, bathing, or mobility assistance. At Saint Therese, assisted living is part of the broader continuum of care available on campus. This means residents who begin in independent living may have access to additional support if their needs change over time. This allows them to remain connected to familiar surroundings and relationships. Rather than facing another major move, residents can often transition more smoothly within the same community. This continuity can be especially valuable during periods of change and adjustment. A Full Continuum of Care on One Campus One of the defining advantages of Saint Therese of Westlake is its comprehensive range of care options. Many senior living communities focus on only one level of care. By contrast, Saint Therese offers multiple services designed to support residents through various stages of aging. Independent Living Independent living provides maintenance-free housing, social opportunities, wellness programs, and an active community environment for older adults who do not require daily assistance. Assisted Living Assisted living offers personalized support while encouraging residents to maintain as much independence as possible. Transitional Care and Rehabilitation Following a hospitalization, surgery, illness, or injury, rehabilitation services can help individuals regain strength, mobility, and confidence before returning to their regular routines. Long Term Care For residents who require ongoing skilled nursing support, long-term care services provide comprehensive assistance delivered by experienced healthcare professionals. Having these services available within one community can simplify future planning and provide reassurance for both residents and families. What Makes Saint Therese of Westlake Different? When comparing senior living communities in Lorain County, several factors distinguish Saint Therese of Westlake. Let us take a look at the key characteristics that make this community stand out. A Beautiful Campus Setting The St. Mary of Westlake campus offers a peaceful environment that combines natural beauty with convenient access to local amenities. Residents can enjoy comfortable surroundings while remaining connected to the larger Westlake community. A Person-Centered Philosophy The Saint Therese mission is rooted in helping older adults live with dignity, purpose, and extraordinary love. Rather than focusing solely on care services, the community emphasizes relationships, individual preferences, and overall quality of life. This approach recognizes that successful aging involves far more than healthcare. It includes meaningful connections, personal fulfillment, and opportunities for continued growth. Experience Across the Aging Journey Because the community offers multiple levels of care, staff members understand the evolving needs that older adults and families may encounter over time. This experience helps create a supportive environment where residents feel known, respected, and valued. A Community Focused on Living Well Many families begin exploring senior living because they are concerned about future challenges. While planning is important, life in a senior living community is about much more than preparing for future care needs. Residents have opportunities to pursue wellness, engage with others, participate in activities, and enjoy the everyday moments that contribute to a fulfilling life. When is the Right Time to Consider Independent Living? Many older adults wait until a crisis occurs before exploring senior living options. However, some of the most successful transitions happen when individuals move while they are still active and able to fully enjoy community life. Signs it may be worth exploring independent living include: Home maintenance is becoming more burdensome. Social opportunities feel increasingly limited. Travel and lifestyle flexibility are priorities. Long-term planning has become a consideration. Family members are encouraging proactive planning. Access to future care options provides peace of mind. Planning ahead often allows individuals to make decisions on their own timeline rather than under pressure. Discover Senior Living at Saint Therese of Westlake Finding the right senior living community is a personal decision, and every family approaches the process differently. What many families discover is that planning ahead creates more opportunities, more flexibility, and greater peace of mind. If you are exploring senior living options in Lorain County, we invite you to learn more about Saint Therese of Westlake in Ohio. Explore our Saint Therese Westlake community page , learn about our independent living lifestyle options, or contact our team to schedule a tour. We would be honored to help you discover whether our community is the right fit for your next chapter. Frequently Asked Questions What is included in independent living at Saint Therese of Westlake? Independent living includes maintenance-free housing, community amenities, social opportunities, wellness programs, and access to a supportive senior living environment designed for active older adults. Is assisted living available at the Westlake campus? Yes. Assisted living is part of the continuum of care available at Saint Therese of Westlake. Availability may vary, so families are encouraged to contact the community directly for current information. Can residents transition to higher levels of care if needed? Yes. One of the benefits of the Westlake campus is access to multiple care levels, including assisted living, rehabilitation, transitional care, and long-term care services. Why do people choose senior living in Westlake, Ohio? Many older adults choose Westlake because of its convenient location, access to healthcare services, shopping, recreation, and a strong sense of community. The city offers an appealing balance of comfort and accessibility. How can I schedule a tour of Saint Therese of Westlake? The best way to learn about the community is through a personal visit. Touring the campus allows you to experience the environment, meet team members, and explore available living options.
A candid photograph taken on a sunny day of the attractive red brick and stone campus of Saint There
By Barb Hemberger June 18, 2026
Senior living Avon Ohio, with independent living, assisted living, rehab, and long-term care. Schedule a tour at Saint Therese Avon today.