How to Know When Your Aging Parent Needs More Care: Lessons from Local Experts

Many adult children quietly ask themselves the same question: How do I know when my aging parent needs more care? The answer is rarely simple and is often emotional.

To help adult children navigate that uncertainty, Saint Therese, an aging services organization providing senior living, care, and supportive resources for older adults and their families, hosted an educational Adult Children event Minneapolis this November. Local experts were invited to share practical guidance, warning signs, and next steps. This was the first in a planned series created for adult children, often in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, who are helping aging parents navigate decisions before a crisis forces the timeline.

Below are key lessons shared by the panelists, each offering a different perspective on recognizing when more support may be needed and what to do next.

Emotional Resistance Can Signal a Need for Change
Suzanne Austin, Caring Transitions
One early indicator that more support may be needed is not medical but emotional. Parents aren’t just holding onto belongings, they are holding onto identity, independence, and memories. Resistance to downsizing, help at home, or even conversations about the future often reflect fear rather than stubbornness.

Starting small, leading with compassion, and reframing decisions around safety, dignity, and the next chapter of life can help families move forward together. When daily tasks begin to feel overwhelming or conversations consistently stall, it may be time to explore additional support. 

You Find Yourself Constantly Chasing the Healthcare System
Morganna Moon, Saint Therese (Nurse Navigator)
If managing appointments, medications, and follow-up calls feels like a full-time job, that is an important sign. Many adult children become care coordinators without realizing how much responsibility they have taken on.

Being a strong advocate is essential. Be kind but be persistent. If something feels confusing or incomplete, continue to ask questions. The increasing complexity of healthcare often means families need more structured support sooner than expected. 

Decisions Are Being Delayed Until a Crisis Forces Them
Dinah Martin, Saint Therese (Senior Housing Options)
One of the clearest warning signs is waiting too long. When families postpone conversations about senior living or care options, decisions are often made during a fall, hospitalization, or sudden health change.

It is also important to understand that today’s senior living options are not the nursing homes of the past, one of the reasons we no longer call them “nursing homes.” Many communities focus on a social model that supports daily living, with care and services added when needed. Exploring options early, especially those offering a continuum of care, can provide flexibility and peace of mind if needs change.

Subtle Cognitive or Safety Changes Are Appearing
Heidi Haley-Franklin, Alzheimer’s Association, Minnesota and North Dakota
Memory lapses, changes in judgment, or increased confusion can be easy to dismiss, but early detection matters. No one needs to face Mild Cognitive Impairment or Alzheimer’s alone. Families can access no-cost education, care consultations, and support programs.

Early diagnosis can also open the door to FDA-approved treatments that may slow progression for some people living with early-stage Alzheimer’s. If something feels off, trust your instincts and seek guidance sooner rather than later. 

Everyday Safety Is Becoming a Concern
Amy Taylor-Greengard, Ascend Rehab
Sometimes the signs are physical – slower movement, balance issues, or increased fatigue can indicate a higher risk of falls and injury. One practical benchmark shared at the event was the sit-to-stand test. If an adult age 65 or older takes more than 15 seconds to stand up and sit down five times, their risk of falling and a significant medical event increases.

Support at Home Can Be a Smart Next Step
Laura LaTour, Adara Home Health

Needing help at home does not mean someone has failed. Home health care can be a useful tool of wellness after a hospital stay, rehab, or a health setback. It can also support safer transitions and help families feel more confident that the right care is in place.

Planning Ahead Makes All the Difference
Mollie Dvorak, Saint Therese (Pastoral Care)
A recurring theme throughout the evening was simple but powerful. Hope for the best, but plan for the rest. Starting conversations early, before emotions run high, helps adult children and families stay aligned and confident when decisions arise.

Looking Ahead
This November event was the first in Saint Therese’s Adult Children educational series. Attendees shared that they left feeling more informed, reassured, and better prepared for what lies ahead. Many also requested future sessions that go deeper on legal, financial, and planning topics.

If you missed this program or would like to attend future Adult Children events, watch for upcoming opportunities to learn, ask questions, and connect with trusted experts.